{"id":18640,"date":"2014-01-08T10:45:41","date_gmt":"2014-01-08T15:45:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/?p=18640"},"modified":"2016-07-14T16:05:05","modified_gmt":"2016-07-14T20:05:05","slug":"crash-and-burn-dieting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/health\/crash-and-burn-dieting\/","title":{"rendered":"My Life: Crash and Burn Dieting"},"content":{"rendered":"

This guest column is written by Kendra Mittermeyer, administrative assistant at DailyBurn. Follow along on her journey towards health, wellness, self-improvement and the perfect push-up. (If you missed the start of the series, catch <\/i>the beginning here<\/i><\/a>, and her <\/i>new motivation for healthy living here<\/a>.<\/i><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\"Womens
Photo: Pond5<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When I was a senior in college I did just about the stupidest thing on the planet. I crash dieted.<\/p>\n

My boyfriend\u2019s fraternity was having a fancy end of year ball and I was dead set on impressing the lot of them. I was going to be a stunning, svelte partygoer if it killed me. It very nearly could have.<\/p>\n

With three weeks to go before the dance I decided I could undo four years of social insecurities and unhealthy habits. Can you do the math?<\/p>\n

Being a good college student, the first thing I did was research! Lo and behold the Internet has a host of horrifying ideas and tips for weight loss.<\/p>\n

I read somewhere online that if you had carrots, celery and a protein shake before every meal you could drop major pounds fast. The idea was once you got through all that you\u2019d basically be full and not eat much after. For every meal.<\/p>\n

So I bought some super cheap, chemical-y \u201cprotein powder\u201d and bushels of the prescribed vegetables and went to town. This was all I ate for the better part of a month. It was so bad. Towards the end I could barely swallow the carrot sticks. I took to half masticating them and then chugging water until they went down. Uber glamorous, eh? And more than that super smart<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Of course, my mania didn\u2019t stop there. I was also working out an hour to two hours a day. I was YouTube-ing every workout video I could find, and logging a minimum of 45 minutes a day on the school\u2019s elliptical machines. I didn\u2019t take breaks; I didn\u2019t think I deserved them. I had a matter of days to enact change and absolutely no sense of how to do any of it in a healthy manner. The truth is, I was furious with myself and thought an aggressive attack was warranted. I also thought it would work.<\/p>\n

Please keep in mind I was a double major as well as an active member of the campus theatre department. I was already under-slept and overcommitted. Now I was just running on fumes, frustration and nutritional crap, which I would then attempt to systematically burn off.<\/p>\n

None of it was sustainable of course \u2014 that never even entered my mind. The whole idea was to fit into a dress. A beautiful blue and black lace dress I had spent every penny on months prior.\u00a0 I bought the lofty dress several sizes too small under the delusion that something hanging in my closet could spur a long-term lifestyle change. It did not of course. In the short-term however, it did cause me to completely lose track of my self-worth and sanity!<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t really remember the last few weeks of college. I\u2019m not sure I had headspace to truly embrace the projects I cared about or the friendships that were clearly about to transition come graduation. I do <\/i>have vague memories of gnawing hunger, of dreams haunted by bowls of spaghetti and of general crankiness \u2014 what a stupendous farewell to my college life! (OK it is possible<\/i> some of the fuzziness on the memory recall has to do with time passing. Maybe.)<\/p>\n

I also remember that foul, false sense of control and empowerment.<\/p>\n

I think the worst part, looking back<\/a>, is realizing how much I must have hated myself, how mean I was to me<\/i>. That\u2019s not empowerment \u2014 that\u2019s gross misconduct with my mind, body and soul!<\/p>\n

In true afterschool special form, all the crazy behavior did not in fact \u201cpay off.\u201d I did not magically fit into the illustrious dress on the big day. I could almost hear the dad from 7th<\/sup> Heaven<\/i> telling me how risky and ridiculous my choices had been, as I stood makeup and hair done in a dress that was just not zipping up.<\/p>\n

\"Kendra<\/p>\n

What to do? The solution was unbelievably simple. I borrowed a dress from a friend and went off to have a fabulous night. I\u2019m glad for that much, that once the ludicrous dream was crushed, I let it go. I couldn\u2019t argue with the zipper, and I couldn\u2019t turn back the clock. (My foolish attempt had at least made that much clear.)<\/p>\n

I wasted so much time assaulting my body with brutal expectations, I\u2019m glad once they shattered I didn\u2019t waste anymore of it. It turned out to be a terrific night, focused on all the right stuff: friends and fun.<\/p>\n

I probably gained back all the weight I had lost during my break from sanity in a matter of hours, and then some. The pictures taken mere days after relaxing my regime are just mindboggling. I swear it looks like I had an allergic reaction of cartoonish proportions. But I also look happy. I\u2019m enjoying the end of school festivities. I can\u2019t claim I was super healthy after this episode, I clearly still had issues of balance and self-esteem to sort out, but I\u2019m glad to know I\u2019ll never again allow vanity or self-loathing to pull me that far off balance.<\/p>\n

You know I\u2019ve still yet to wear that dress? It\u2019s been years. If clothing could feel, imagine the poetic inferiority complex I\u2019ve inflicted on that poor innocent garment! Ignored indefinitely? That\u2019s way harsh. Sorry, dress.<\/p>\n

I have an event coming up in early November; perhaps it\u2019ll finally get some use then. I would really like that. But I like me and my sanity more. If I\u2019m not there yet living the right way (kind and mindful), there\u2019s always another dress, another day and another chance to not <\/i>sacrifice my sense of self.<\/p>\n

Originally posted on September 21, 2013.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ever tried a crash diet or bought a garment a few sizes too small as motivation to lose weight? Our writer did both. See what happened in this candid guest post. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":18627,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,7,18],"tags":[41,341,343,285],"class_list":["post-18640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diet-nutrition","category-health","category-weight-loss","tag-diets","tag-tax1living-well","tag-tax2exercise","tag-weight-loss"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18640"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18640\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}