{"id":28843,"date":"2014-06-09T07:15:59","date_gmt":"2014-06-09T11:15:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/?p=28843"},"modified":"2021-05-14T09:05:33","modified_gmt":"2021-05-14T13:05:33","slug":"exercise-coping-with-grief-sadness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/lifestyle\/exercise-coping-with-grief-sadness\/","title":{"rendered":"Sweating Out the Sadness: How Exercise Can Help You Grieve?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Exercise
Photo: Pond5<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When I went through a breakup a few years ago, what helped me the most wasn\u2019t ice cream or vodka. It was spinning<\/a>. When I awoke before dawn during those first raw months with an overwhelming ache in my gut, I somehow managed to drag myself and my misery to a 6:30 a.m. class, and by 7:15 a.m., I felt confident I could get through the rest of the day. Yes, I was pumped on endorphins and Beyonc\u00e9. But there was something transformative about all those sprints and climbs. Sweating \u2014 at least as far as I could tell \u2014 was healing my broken heart.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cThe athlete wants to be alone. When they\u2019re running, they\u2019re processing hurt and pain.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Any athlete knows that intense exercise has emotional benefits that go beyond improved self-esteem. All that alone time on the road or in the pool gives a person time to reflect and ruminate. Feelings get sorted. Decisions get made. It turns out that exercise can be an important coping tool<\/a> to deal with grief and loss, whether it\u2019s the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship. \u201cMore emotive grievers want to keep a journal or be around other people, but the more instrumental griever doesn\u2019t want to talk about it,\u201d explains Vicki Costa, a clinical social worker and grief counselor with Safe Harbor Counseling in Bel Air, Maryland. \u201cThe athlete wants to be alone. When they\u2019re running, they\u2019re processing hurt and pain. They raise their heart rate and sweat out the toxins. It\u2019s how the body cries,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Exercise can also keep you healthy during a stressful time<\/a>, when your immune system is on the fritz, adds Brian McFarlin, PhD, assistant professor of exercise physiology and nutrition at the University of North Texas in Denton, Texas. Even though grief is primarily a psychological reaction to loss, your nervous system still responds as if the event was an attack on the body. \u201cWhen you\u2019re exposed to a cold virus, you get sick and stay sick for a longer time,\u201d he says. One yearlong study<\/a> by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle found that people who exercised a half-hour a day were 50 percent less likely to get colds.<\/p>\n

Yet McFarlin cautions against too much of a good thing. Other research<\/a> shows that athletes who exercise to the extreme can end up with worse immunity than sedentary people. \u201cIf you\u2019re staying sick, that\u2019s a good clue to aim for moderation.\u201d<\/p>\n

Breakdown on the Greenway<\/b> <\/h3>\n
\n

\u201cEventually I started walking. I could still feel the pain, but it certainly had less power.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

For Mike Tarrolly, a 50-year-old Ironman from Nashville, Tennessee, who lost a 62-year-old close friend this year to cancer, he hoped running would give him a break from the sadness. Instead, it brought it to the surface. In the middle a 12-mile run, he started thinking about how he wished he\u2019d had the chance to visit his music buddy one last time and broke down crying. \u201cI was somewhere on the local greenway and felt the frustration taking over my body. I could barely run but kept fighting it. Suddenly I was mad about everything and felt a million regrets,\u201d says Tarrolly, who started running two years and chronicles his training in his blog crushingiron.com<\/a>. \u201cEventually I started walking. I could still feel the pain, but it certainly had less power.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to Costa, exercise also helps grievers because it gives them a sense of control during a time a when they\u2019re submerged in a stew of symptoms. Those can include short-term memory loss, fatigue, listlessness, inadequacy, aimlessness, shock, numbness, disillusionment and feeling cut off from the world. \u201cRunning is purpose,\u201d explains Costa. \u201cIt\u2019s a great way to get mastery over something. It restores your equilibrium and gives you the feeling that you\u2019re in charge of your life. You\u2019re pitting the miracle of what you can accomplish with your body against tragedy.\u201d <\/p>\n

Post-Breakup Reconstruction<\/b><\/h3>\n

Exercise can have psychological benefits for those trying to get over a romantic split, too. \u201cWhen you go through a breakup, you question your self-worth. You ask, \u2018How did I end up here? What choices did I make and what things did I ignore that led me here again?\u2019\u201d says Samantha, 31, a teacher from Manhattan.<\/p>\n

When she emerged from a breakup black hole of tears, beer, Chinese food and bad TV, she found relief in running<\/a>. And since she had already signed up for the 2013 New York City Marathon<\/a>, \u201cI wasn\u2019t going to let this screw up my plans, especially since I didn\u2019t get to run during Hurricane Sandy,\u201d she recalls. She says her training runs for the marathon gave her a sense of pride and built back<\/a> up her confidence. \u201cThe running helped me remember \u2018I am big. I am strong,\u2019\u201d she says. \u201dIn the beginning, I thought \u2018I may not be able to control all these other things in my life, but I can control this.\u2019 Then it became \u2018Well, if I can control that, what else can I take back?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

When Running Isn\u2019t Enough<\/b><\/h3>\n

While long cleansing runs and rides can help you get through a tough time, exercise is just one of many recommended tools that include good nutrition, adequate sleep<\/a>, counseling, and perhaps most importantly, social support. It may feel good to get lost in your own head, but exercise can\u2019t be an excuse to withdraw from the world, urges Costa. <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a time to rejoin the community,\u201d Costa says. \u201cWe draw positive energy from other people.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Running
Photo: Pond5<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Purposeful Grieving<\/b> <\/h3>\n

If some extra sweat sessions are the right Rx for you, here are a few tips to make your training as constructive as possible:<\/p>\n

\n

Unlike your training regimen, you can\u2019t schedule your grieving milestones.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

1. Choose your thoughts wisely.
<\/b>While many people zone out during workouts, these blocks of time also give you the opportunity to reflect about your loss. \u201cBe intentional about this thinking time,\u201d urges Costa. \u201cWrite down three things that are bothering you and try to view them from a different angle to gain a new perspective.\u201d Sample questions: What did I learn? What should I let go? What should I choose to forgive? It\u2019s a more empowering alternative to unhelpful obsessing about what you can\u2019t change.<\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t rush the process.
<\/b>As much as you\u2019d like to check that box, you have to allow grief to run its course. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing you can do to make it go faster,\u201d says Costa. \u201cYou were thrown in the water. The stream is taking you where it wants to take you. Float with it. There are moments when you hit whitewater and think you\u2019ll never come up again. Then it\u2019s peaceful, and then you slam up against a rock. But the stream leads to the ocean and takes you to a better place.\u201d Unlike your training regimen, you can\u2019t schedule your grieving milestones.<\/p>\n

3. Find meaning in your loss.
<\/b>Sometimes it just feels good to band together and sweat for a common cause. That can mean participating in a walk or ride to fund research for a disease that afflicted a loved one, or finding another way to support a cause<\/a> that you hold close to your heart. It will honor their life while encouraging hope and positivity to enter yours.<\/p>\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can endurance exercise help us grieve a loss, or heal a broken heart? Find out how the science and the psychology of moving can \u2014 and can\u2019t \u2014 make us whole again. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":46,"featured_media":28963,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12,15],"tags":[202,289,187,103,82,117,282,341,343,239],"class_list":["post-28843","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-mental-health","category-stress","tag-brain","tag-exercise","tag-happiness","tag-motivation","tag-recovery","tag-relaxation","tag-stress","tag-tax1living-well","tag-tax2exercise","tag-therapy"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28843","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/46"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28843"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28843\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28963"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28843"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28843"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28843"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}