{"id":39871,"date":"2015-05-13T07:15:33","date_gmt":"2015-05-13T11:15:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/?p=39871"},"modified":"2021-08-26T15:10:29","modified_gmt":"2021-08-26T19:10:29","slug":"relationship-stress-management-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/lifestyle\/relationship-stress-management-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Stress Hurting Your Relationship? 5 Ways to Fix It"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Is
Photo: Pond5<\/a><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Here\u2019s the bad news: Up to 98 percent<\/a> of American adults report feeling some form of stress on a regular basis.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the worse news: Feeling stressed can mean trouble for relationships, as more and more research points to the toxic effect stress can have on our personal lives.<\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> Is Chronic Stress Wrecking Your Workouts?<\/a><\/p>\n

But don\u2019t worry, just because your anxiety<\/a> is at an all-time high, doesn\u2019t mean your love life is doomed. Using a few proven strategies, you can learn to spot the signs that stress is negatively impacting your relationship and take steps to prevent (or at least mitigate) its harm. Take a deep breath, relax, and read on.<\/p>\n

How to Tell If Stress Is Killing Your Mojo<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Whether it\u2019s caused by work or health problems, stress can negatively affect relationships in a variety of ways. One study<\/a> that followed 80 couples over four years found that those who experienced more stress outside of their relationship reported feeling less comfortable<\/a> and less close with their partner. They also felt less sure of the relationship than folks who experienced less stress.<\/p>\n

“People who reported more ‘technoference’ in their relationship also perceived more conflict.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> Is Marathon Training Hurting Your Relationship?<\/a><\/p>\n

Signs of stress may vary between individuals and among partners \u2014 but it’s never an excuse\u00a0for abusive behavior (if you\u2019re a victim, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/a>). However,\u00a0if you feel you\u2019re in a healthy relationship, these five signs might indicate that stress is taking a toll on your personal life.<\/p>\n

1. You\u2019re super irritable<\/strong>.
\nIf you perceive everything your partner says as a slight or get miffed extra easily, stress<\/a> may be a factor. The longer stress lasts, the more likely we are to feel grumpy or argumentative<\/a> and lash out.<\/p>\n

2. Your communication skills go down the tube<\/strong>.
\nWhen you\u2019re feeling chronically stressed or overwhelmed, your ability to practice positive communication<\/a> (i.e., to talk about who\u2019s doing laundry without it turning into a blowout fight) actually declines. That\u2019s because stress can prevent your ability to focus and promote negative thinking. It can also impair cognition, judgment and listening skills, according to Dr. Michael Mantell, Ph.D., an Advanced Behavior Coach.<\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> 6 Signs You\u2019re Exhausted (Not Just Tired)<\/a><\/p>\n

3. You\u2019re viewing your whole relationship as a flop<\/strong>.
\nWhen we\u2019re chronically stressed, we\u2019re more likely to perceive even the best relationship in a negative light<\/a>. We\u2019re also unlikely to realize that stress is factoring into that perception.<\/p>\n

4. Your eyes are wandering<\/strong>.
\nResearch shows we\u2019re more likely to feel attracted to other people<\/a> when feeling taxed. Anxiety can make us fantasize about being with a different partner and pay less positive attention to the one we already have.<\/p>\n

5. You\u2019re glued to your phone.
\n<\/strong>When we\u2019re under pressure, it can be difficult to step away from email and texts. In one study<\/a>, people who reported more \u201ctechnoference\u201d in their relationship also perceived more conflict and depressive symptoms and lower relationship satisfaction overall. That means talking on your phone during dinner with your partner can be both a sign of stress and a cause of it.<\/p>\n

\"Is
Photo: Pond5<\/a><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

5 Ways to Save Your Relationship from Stress <\/strong><\/h3>\n

If you\u2019re now stressing about the fact that stress is wrecking your relationship \u2014\u00a0stop! The good news is that it\u2019s entirely possible to manage stressors, thereby reducing their ability to do harm. \u201cYou have more control over your environment than your thoughts might lead you to believe,\u201d Dr. Mantell says. \u201cBut even if you can\u2019t avoid a situation or alter it, you can reframe the problem more positively with each other, look at the large picture and change your perspective.\u201d Taking the following steps can help keep your relationship on track to happily ever after.<\/p>\n

“Be each other\u2019s defense attorney, not prosecutor.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

1. Create a plan<\/strong>.
\nWhenever you and your partner are in a good place, craft a game plan for <\/span>how you\u2019ll cope<\/a> with the arrival of tension in the future. Dr. Mantell recommends agreeing to work to reduce reactivity (think: major blow-ups) and help identify each other\u2019s negative thought patterns. Then, challenge those thoughts with more positive interpretations of the stressful scenario (for cool ways to channel stress into positivity, <\/span>read this<\/a>). Another good way to preempt stress: <\/span>Exercise together<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> Trainers Tell All: Their Best Active Dates<\/a><\/p>\n

2. Reduce your own stress<\/strong>.
\nLearn how to <\/span>relieve your own stress<\/a> and your relationship will be better for it. Spend time <\/span>outside<\/a>, listen to music or practice <\/span>deep breathing<\/a>. Perhaps most important: Learn to shift your perspective. \u201cStress is an emotional and physiological response to <\/span>thinking <\/em>that an event, condition, or situation is [terrible] and that no good can come from [it],\u201d says Dr. Mantell. The trick is to adopt more positive frameworks for difficult situations. Try to remind yourself that you\u2019ll get through it, that there may even be a good reason a certain stressor has occurred\u2014and at worst, it\u2019s only one bad event.<\/span><\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> 10 Yoga Poses to Beat Stress<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Encourage your partner to relax<\/strong>.
\nIf you notice your partner is feeling stressed, try to offer them the support and space to work through their own feelings (some people need to cry; others <\/span>hit the gym<\/a> for a week of two-a-days). Helping your partner <\/span>feel cared for<\/a> will soothe their stress, which will allow your relationship to weather the storm.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Prioritize commitment<\/strong>.
\nIf you\u2019re feeling too strained to connect with your partner every day, Dr. Mantell recommends putting things in perspective. \u201cHelp each other remember you cannot control the uncontrollable, to always look for victory not defeat, to agree to set aside time to talk and be each other\u2019s defense attorney, not prosecutor,\u201d Dr. Mantell says. Ask yourself: What will your relationship look like in one month (and in six months) if you don\u2019t prioritize time with your partner? What are the advantages of putting your partnership first, and what are the disadvantages? The answers to these questions should motivate you to pursue quality time together.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Ask for help<\/strong>.
\nLike it or not, your partner won\u2019t always provide for all your needs. Sometimes he or she will be too overworked to help you as effectively as you\u2019d like, and vice versa. When one or both of you is struggling to meet the other\u2019s needs, don\u2019t be afraid to <\/span>enlist the help<\/a> of trusted friends, relatives, or a <\/span>licensed therapist<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Within the context of a relationship (or pretty much anything in life), you will never be able to control everything, Mantell says. But you can <\/em>own your side of things by learning to identify signs that stress is affecting your relationship and taking steps to minimize the damage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whether you\u2019re anxious about work or an upcoming 10K race, stress can be a huge downer for a relationship. Here\u2019s how to spot the signs, and run interference. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":68,"featured_media":39868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12,15],"tags":[159,253,117,282,341,360],"class_list":["post-39871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-mental-health","category-stress","tag-anxiety","tag-relationships","tag-relaxation","tag-stress","tag-tax1living-well","tag-tax2stress-management"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39871","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/68"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39871"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39871\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39871"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39871"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39871"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}