{"id":50806,"date":"2016-07-13T07:15:53","date_gmt":"2016-07-13T11:15:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/?p=50806"},"modified":"2022-04-27T04:35:28","modified_gmt":"2022-04-27T08:35:28","slug":"best-compliments-weight-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/health\/best-compliments-weight-loss\/","title":{"rendered":"The 9 of the Best Things to Say to Someone Who Has Lost Weight"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"The
Photo by Imani Clovis<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We’re all guilty of getting this wrong sometimes. You think you\u2019re being nice by acknowledging someone\u2019s weight loss<\/a>, only to receive an awkward response of \u201cI\u2019m still the same as before, but thanks anyway.\u201d Worse, you\u2019re accused of pointing out just how fat<\/em> the person used to be before slimming down.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s problematic is that everyone views it differently, and it\u2019s hard to figure out which people want compliments,\u201d explains Irene Rubaum-Keller, Los Angeles-based psychotherapist and author of Foodaholic: The Seven Stages to Permanent Weight Loss, <\/em>who has worked with patients who\u2019ve lost significant amounts of weight over the last 20 years. Some people crave recognition of their hard work, yet others see your \u201cWay to go!\u201d as a source of pressure. \u201cFor people who aren\u2019t sure they can keep the weight off<\/a>, all that attention is anxiety-provoking because they worry what people will think if they slip up,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Not sure whether to gush or not? Here are nine tips on how to artfully deliver a compliment without offending (almost) anyone.<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>12 Things Nobody Told Me About Losing Weight<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Weight Loss Real Talk:\u00a0What You Should (and Shouldn’t) Say<\/strong><\/h3>\n

1. Leave out the word \u201cweight.\u201d
\n<\/strong>The word \u201cweight\u201d is so loaded with negative meanings, you\u2019re always safe using the more generic \u201cYou look great,\u201d says Rubaum-Keller. \u201cIt can be a double-edged sword. People might hear \u2018You\u2019ve lost weight\u2019 as \u2018You used to be fat,\u2019\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

That includes other weight-related words, such as \u2018skinny.\u2019 The adjective made 40-year-old Ilyssa Israel cringe after she lost 50 pounds last year. \u201cIt implies being sickly and not taking care of yourself,\u201d says Israel, who recently started her own personal assistant business in Charlotte, North Carolina. \u201cI eat healthier<\/a> now than ever before.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Give them a chance to brag.
\n<\/strong>For Hilary Russo, a Daily Burn 365<\/a> participant who recently lost 20 pounds, the perfect compliment is: \u201c\u2018You look amazing! Tell me what you\u2019ve been doing.\u2019 This gives the person a chance to open up and say what\u2019s positive for them,\u201d says Russo, 43, on-camera talent for QVC and communications professor in New York City. \u201cIt gives me the floor to share what I\u2019m proud of, like getting in the best shape of my life before my wedding in October and feeling physically and mentally stronger.\u201d<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>19 Reasons to Work Out (Beyond the Perfect Body)<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Compliment big picture goals.
\n<\/strong>Israel never tires of being told she looks fabulous, but what really makes her glow is when people acknowledge why she did the hard work<\/a> to shed 50 pounds. \u201cI didn\u2019t just lose weight to look good in clothes. I did it for my health,\u201d says Israel, mother to a 4-year-old. \u201cI knew that if I didn\u2019t lose it, I would set myself up for health problems later.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Save them for people you know well.
\n<\/strong>Jeff Stein, a Daily Burn 365 member, got a lesson in the perils of compliment-giving when he exclaimed to a co-worker upon her return from vacation: \u201cYou look great! You must have lost weight.\u201d Even though the recipient seemed flattered, a colleague later told him it wasn\u2019t appropriate to comment on another person\u2019s looks. \u201cI\u2019ve been more selective about who I give compliments to,\u201d says Stein, 46, a freelance writer from Astoria, Queens, who\u2019s now lost 20 pounds himself.<\/p>\n

5. Share your own experience.
\n<\/strong>You won\u2019t steal another person\u2019s thunder if you offer up a little empathy in the form of \u201cI lost 20 pounds last year, and I know what a big deal that is.\u201d In fact, you\u2019ll improve your chances of connecting with someone on a very personal topic. However, Rubaum-Keller issues this warning: Do not talk about your challenges in keeping off the weight unless you\u2019re sharing a strategy that worked for you. \u201cYou want to appear like a friend who understands and is trying to be helpful,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

6. Keep them coming.
\n<\/strong>Worried you might be complimenting someone too much? There is no such thing as overkill to people who enjoy being praised. \u201cDon\u2019t worry if you sound like a broken record,\u201d says Rubaum-Keller. In fact, suddenly stopping your raves can be upsetting to those who have gotten used to regular ego boosts.<\/p>\n

To make his compliments go the distance, Stein focuses on acknowledging whether someone looks \u201cfit and healthy.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t want to assign too much value to being thin or fat, especially if they gain back a few pounds<\/a>,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

7. Ditch the disbelief.
\n<\/strong>Perhaps you really can\u2019t believe your friend shed 20 pounds. Still, temper your enthusiasm. \u201cDon\u2019t say, \u2018I can\u2019t believe how good you look!\u2019\u201d says Rubaum-Keller. \u201cThink about what you\u2019re saying: \u2018I can\u2019t believe you did this!\u2019\u201d That\u2019s not exactly empowering now, is it?<\/p>\n

8. Don\u2019t remind them how far they\u2019ve come.
\n<\/strong>For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: \u201cYou\u2019ve lost soooo much weight! You look so much better!\u201d Even if it\u2019s true, he says, \u201cI don\u2019t want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t disguise it as concern, either. Israel was offended when a few people said: \u201cI didn\u2019t want to say anything, but \u2026\u201d \u201cI interpreted it as though I\u2019d gotten too heavy for my own good. I knew I was that fat, but I don\u2019t want to hear about it,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>Must Read Book: One Woman\u2019s 135-Pound Weight Loss Success<\/a><\/p>\n

9. Be a good role model.
\n<\/strong>You can\u2019t expect someone to receive a compliment graciously if you can\u2019t take one yourself. Create your own mutual admiration society by looking your commenter directly in the eye and saying \u201cthank you\u201d like you mean it. \u201cBe thankful that you have people offering you the gift of kindness and positivity,\u201d says Russo. \u201cBask in the moment. Thank them for caring enough about your efforts to change your life for good.\u201d Then gush away!<\/p>\n

Not a Daily Burn member? Sign up at\u00a0dailyburn.com<\/a>\u00a0and start your free 30-day trial today.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Notice someone\u2019s lost a ton of weight? Skip the disbelieving “Whoa!” and “Seriously, how?” and offer these more thoughtful props instead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":46,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,18],"tags":[187,103,341,352,285],"class_list":["post-50806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health","category-weight-loss","tag-happiness","tag-motivation","tag-tax1living-well","tag-tax2weight-loss","tag-weight-loss"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50806","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/46"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50806"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50806\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}