{"id":53057,"date":"2016-10-06T07:15:08","date_gmt":"2016-10-06T11:15:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/?p=53057"},"modified":"2016-10-10T18:31:41","modified_gmt":"2016-10-10T22:31:41","slug":"depression-awareness-month-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/lifestyle\/depression-awareness-month-help\/","title":{"rendered":"What a Friend with Depression Needs to Hear"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"How
Photo by\u00a0Korney Violin<\/a><\/i><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

If you suspect a friend is struggling with depression<\/a>, you may feel unsure about what to say. Maybe you feel like you\u2019re walking on eggshells. After all, you\u2019re concerned about saying or doing something that will make them feel worse.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no perfect way to help,\u201d says Katherine Schafler<\/a>, LMHC, a NYC-based therapist. \u201cThere\u2019s no guaranteed statement that won\u2019t offend, hurt or otherwise upset someone.\u201d According to 2014 stats from the National Institute of Mental Health, 15.7 million<\/a> American adults suffered from at least one depressive episode that year.<\/p>\n

While no two experiences (nor their resolutions) will be the same, experts have found a few general guidelines to help steer the conversation in the right direction. Here are a few strategies, outlined by Schafler, to support your loved one through his or her tough times.<\/p>\n

RELATED:\u00a0<\/strong>7 Daily Habits That Are Sabotaging Your Mental Health<\/a><\/p>\n

7 Ways to Help a Friend With Depression <\/strong><\/h3>\n

1. Share the dilemma.<\/strong>
\nIf you\u2019re about to say something, and you worry about how it will be interpreted, say that, <\/em>says Schafler. \u201cYou should acknowledge your awareness of how your statement might come across,\u201d she says. By doing this, your loved one will be more receptive to what you\u2019re saying.<\/p>\n

For example, you might say: \u201cI have something that I want to tell you but I’ve been hesitating because it’s one of those things that can come out so clumsily, and the last thing I want is for you to feel upset or alienated.\u201d<\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> 7 Self-Care Rituals to Practice Every Day<\/a><\/p>\n

2. Ask specific questions.<\/strong>
\n\u201cIf you\u2019re saying \u2018I\u2019m worried you might be an alcoholic,\u2019 the listener has nowhere else to go from there,\u201d says Schafler. A declaration like this can feel like you\u2019re dropping a bomb on a person, and it feels intense and judgmental. A better way to approach is to ask: \u201cHave you been feeling like yourself lately?\u201d She says that this gives the listener an opportunity to open up.<\/p>\n

3. Let the other person hurt.<\/strong>
\nTelling someone, \u201cIt will be OK,\u201d may be motivated by our own discomfort with other people\u2019s pain, says Schafler. While your reassurance likely comes from a good place, it doesn\u2019t give your pal the space for their own hurt to exist. This isn\u2019t easy, Schafler says, but accepting your own distress with your loved one\u2019s struggle can help you meet them in a place of acceptance.<\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> How to Overcome Anxiety, Starting Now<\/a><\/p>\n

4. Just listen.<\/strong>
\n\u201cFor many people struggling with depression,\u201d says Ryan Howes<\/a>, Ph.D., a therapist in California, \u201cwhat they need most are your ears, not your words.\u201d They need to talk about sadness, anger, grief, anxiety \u2014 or any number of difficult events from their past. \u201cJust sitting and listening can be a tremendous gift.\u201d<\/p>\n

5. Offer help.<\/strong>
\nYou wouldn\u2019t be ashamed to go to a doctor for a broken arm, right? \u201cBut finding a therapist can be difficult for anyone, let alone someone suffering the energy-depleting symptoms of depression,\u201d says Howes. \u201cOffer to help them with research<\/a>, asking friends, doing an online search<\/a> or even making that initial call for them.\u201d Helping to match them with the care they need may be the best assistance you can give, he says.<\/p>\n

6. Tell them: \u201cI\u2019m here for you.\u201d
\n<\/strong>This is one of the most simple things you can say, but it\u2019s one of the most helpful. Among\u00a0the more common symptoms of depression is a feeling of isolation and a sense that nobody cares. \u201cTelling them \u2014\u00a0and showing<\/em> them \u2014 is one of the most loving gifts you can give,\u201d says Howes.<\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/strong> Stressed? These GIFs Will Help You Relax<\/a><\/p>\n

7. Say the words.
\n<\/strong>And speaking of loving gifts, sometimes \u201cI love you\u201d is the most powerful thing you can say. \u201cA depressed friend may not feel lovable,\u201d says Howes, \u201cbut it\u2019s still important for them to hear they are loved and can count on you during this dark time.\u201d<\/p>\n

The content in this article is not meant to replace professional medical advice. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. To see a list of resources in your area, head here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

October is Depression Awareness Month, but there\u2019s never a bad time to help a friend in need. If you spot signs of depression, here\u2019s what experts recommend. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12,15],"tags":[202,47,187,224,282,341,410],"class_list":["post-53057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-mental-health","category-stress","tag-brain","tag-family","tag-happiness","tag-illness","tag-stress","tag-tax1living-well","tag-tax2depression"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53057","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53057"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53057\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53057"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53057"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53057"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}