{"id":58034,"date":"2017-04-28T07:15:47","date_gmt":"2017-04-28T11:15:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/?p=58034"},"modified":"2021-11-18T11:36:16","modified_gmt":"2021-11-18T16:36:16","slug":"self-awareness-happiness-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/lifestyle\/self-awareness-happiness-success\/","title":{"rendered":"Is a Lack of Self-Awareness Keeping You From Happiness?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Is
Photo: Twenty20<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Most of us have at least one friend who exudes an enlightened sense of self. Someone who\u2019s confident<\/a> and comfortable with who they are, and understands how others see his or her personality. Many times, that person radiates cheerfulness<\/a> and can command a room. And the reason: \u201cPeople who are self-aware make better decisions, are happier, have better relationships<\/a> and are effective leaders,\u201d says Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist and author of Insight<\/a><\/em>, who has conducted years\u2019 worth of research on the topic.<\/p>\n

The thing is, while most people think<\/em> they know themselves pretty well, only about 10 to 15 percent of individuals \u2014 whom Eurich and her research team refer to as \u201cunicorns\u201d \u2014 fit the definition of self-awareness.<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>7 Trainer Quotes That Will Instantly Boost Your Confidence<\/a><\/p>\n

What Self-Awareness Really Means\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Two main components make up a self-aware person, says Eurich. The first (and probably most well-known) is internal insight. That means knowing your own morals, values and passions. The second involves external awareness \u2014 or knowing how others perceive you. \u201cThey\u2019re independent of one another, but you need both to be truly self-aware,\u201d Eurich explains. Typically, people possess one and not the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople who are highly self-aware find the delicate balance between taking time to understand who they are, what they want, what will make them happy<\/a> and consistently target and ask for feedback from others, too,\u201d Eurich says.<\/p>\n

When determining internal and external self-knowledge Eurich says to specifically examine seven main pillars of yourself. This includes values (principles that guide how to live), passions (what you love to do), aspirations (what you want out of life), where you fit (the environment you need to stay happy), patterns of behavior, reactions and your impact on others.<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>9 Ways Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Fitter and Richer<\/a><\/p>\n

Internal Self-Awareness: It\u2019s Not All About Introspection<\/h2>\n

You might think people who regularly engage in soul-searching and self-evaluation would categorize as the \u201cunicorn\u201d crew. But surprisingly, too much self-reflection can hinder self-awareness.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I found [in my research] was that those who were introspective and deeply analyzed themselves, asking \u2018What am I all about?\u2019 and trying to get absolute answers, were less self-aware and not as happy,\u201d Eurich says. \u201cThey were also more anxious<\/a> and depressed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Turns out, we can\u2019t figure everything out about ourselves, no matter how deep we dig. So focusing more on improving \u2014 and less on why we are the way we are \u2014 is a better approach to gaining self-knowledge, Eurich explains.<\/p>\n

Of course, that\u2019s not to say all reflection is bad. One technique that works well: Pinpoint key moments in your life, whether that\u2019s an incident that happened at work, a fall-out with a friend<\/a>, getting a promotion or getting married. Then, step back and look for any themes on how you handled the situation. \u201cObjectively put out the data and look for patterns,\u201d Eurich says. \u201cAsk, \u2018Where am I seeing this happen in other parts of my life?\u201d It might help you separate the good from the bad, and the consequences that come from both.<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>17 Ways to Get Back to Being Happy<\/a><\/p>\n

External Self-Awareness: Seeing Yourself Through Others\u2019 Eyes\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t trust other people to give us information without asking for it,\u201d Eurich says. \u201cPeople think, \u2018If no one is telling me I\u2019m doing this wrong, I\u2019m probably doing awesome.\u2019 But there\u2019s the mum effect.\u201d AKA many people don\u2019t want to deliver bad news or give criticism because it makes us uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

But\u00a0before you literally ask someone what they think of you (which you should), Eurich suggests choosing someone who will tell you the truth. Keep in mind that could be your outspoken co-worker rather than your BFF. \u201cYou need to get the info from loving critics,\u201d Eurich says. \u201cSomeone who is not afraid to tell you that you have a bad haircut, but who also wants you to succeed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Make sure to ask specific questions, too. Pick an area you want to improve in (say, communication), then ask someone to observe you. Circle back a few days later for some feedback.<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>Hygge, Fika and How Getting Cozy Can Make You Happier<\/a><\/p>\n

4 Steps to Learning More About Yourself<\/h2>\n

Gaining confidence in yourself and knowing how others see you is certainly a learned skilled. Eurich offers four steps to getting more in touch with who you are, so you can feel happier<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0healthier, and find more\u00a0success.<\/p>\n

1. Make the decision to get to know yourself better.<\/h3>\n

Obviously to make a change, you need to commit to it. So throw away the idea that you know exactly who you are and how others perceive you, and have an open mind in terms of what you might learn about yourself.<\/p>\n

2. Ask yourself \u201cwhat\u201d not \u201cwhy?\u201d<\/h3>\n

When thinking about who you are at the core, stop asking why<\/em> you do the things you do and instead set goals for how to improve. For instance, when you have a fight with your significant other, instead of asking, \u201cWhy do I always pick fights?\u201d Say, \u201cWhat do I want out of this relationship? What actions am I bringing to the table that led to this? And what can I do to make it better?\u201d From there, you can set the intention of becoming less argumentative.<\/p>\n

RELATED: <\/strong>Is Stress Hurting Your Relationship? Here\u2019s How to Fix It<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Have a dinner of truth.<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s not as scary as it sounds, but it could be eye-opening. Take a trusted, honest friend to dinner and ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s the thing about me that annoys you the most?\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a powerful way to get some initial data,\u201d Eurich says. It\u2019s a great first step in finding out how others feel about you, and where you can make positive changes.<\/p>\n

4. Check in with yourself.<\/h3>\n

The one thing most \u201cunicorns\u201d do every day? On the drive home from work or right before bed, they reflect on how the day went. Tonight, briefly think about what was effective and positive in your day and what you could improve on tomorrow. It should only take a few minutes and you can write it down or just think about it, but looking back on the day can help enhance the next one.<\/p>\n

Want to find out where you rank in terms of self-awareness? Click <\/em>here<\/em><\/a> for a quiz from Eurich. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you have as much self-awareness as you think? One psychologist breaks down the art of knowing yourself, and how it can lead to happiness and success.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":51,"featured_media":58039,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12],"tags":[134,187,253,282,341,378],"class_list":["post-58034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-mental-health","tag-body-image","tag-happiness","tag-relationships","tag-stress","tag-tax1living-well","tag-tax2happiness"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/51"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58034\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/58039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailyburn.com\/life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}